Are you ready for a serious commitment and in the market for some long-term love?
There are some ways to spot your future husband on the very first date and understand what kind of a person he is from the outset. Knowing these will save you time and energy by helping you work out whether you should go on a second date or not.
Read on for our top tips on spotting your mate, the first time you meet face to face.
How to spot your future husband on the very first date
If you’re looking for a relationship that’ll stand the test of time, it helps to be savvy about how – and who – you date. Otherwise, you may find yourself wasting months or even years on the wrong kind of people. In this article, we’ll let you know the characteristics and behaviours to look out for, and they might not be what you’d expect.
The first date is also a chance for you to make that all-important good first impression, so seize the day and think about how you might be coming across too. You can read our tips on what not to do, here.
#1 He’s on time
The first hurdle is getting to the date in the first place. We all run late from time to time, but if he leaves you hanging without a message or apology, you might want to re-evaluate. If you are someone who’s always chasing your tail, plan your journey in advance and factor in some extra time so that you’re not that person leaving your date waiting.
#2 You have common ground
If you’ve been chatting online then this should already be established. But if it’s a blind date, once you start asking a few questions, your interests will emerge. They don’t have to be the same, but if you’re clicking on a few topics, or have shared hobbies, you’ll have plenty to keep you together long term.
#3 He listens as well as talking
You’ll tell if he’s interested in you and if he’s a courteous person when he actively listens – and asks questions that show he’s taking in what you’re saying.
You can get some tips on active listening here.
#4 You’re on the same page with money
This is the topic that causes the most arguments with married couples and if you have opposing ideas it may be tricky getting up the aisle in the first place. If you want to go to a five-star champagne bar, but he suggests a pint in Wetherspoons, you may have different ways of spending. Very different budgets or conflicting views on who should pay can also cause issues. It’s rumoured that one woman accidentally spent £15,000 on a Tinder date after she misread the menu. Don’t get caught out, check prices in advance and if it’s too pricey, be honest, there’s no shame in it – if he gets weird about it, you might not be a match.
#5 He’s respectful
He’s polite, minds his ps and qs, listens to your opinions (whether he agrees or not), treats the waiting staff well. Fantastic! Not only will you love him, but your mum also will.
#6 You have shared life goals
If he drops into conversation that he’d love to have kids someday, or has three dogs, is super career-driven, or makes adventure travel a priority, listen up. If you feel the same as him, you’ll be well-suited. Life goals are often the same as deal-breakers and they can be a great compass as to whether you’ll work as a romantic team.
#7 You communicate well
You’ve probably had to communicate electronically to arrange the date. But how do you fare in person? If you find the other person confusing it might be an issue, as good communication is key in relationships, although this can take many forms.
#8 There’s a sense of equality
It’s good news when you get the sense you’re on the same level, and that there’s no sense of inferiority or superiority creeping in.
#9 You have similar backgrounds
Find out this one by asking about his childhood or family. While it’s not a dealbreaker to be from different worlds, you’re more likely to have a harmonious future if you have shared early experiences.
#10 He brings out the best in you
Ask yourself how you feel in his company? If you feel attractive, fun, interesting, smart and perhaps even a better person then hang onto him – he’s a keeper. Chances are he feels the same way too.
What should you reveal on a first date?
Of course, to find out the outcome of the ten points above you’ll need to ask – and answer – some questions. Some will be evident immediately, but others will require some light digging. Remember, if you’re speed dating you have a few minutes with each person, so make the most of your time and choose well. Here are some great questions from which to choose. None of these will require the other person to divulge anything uncomfortably personal, so they’re also a good guide for the kind of limits you should place on what to reveal.
How do you know if you have a future with someone?
Perhaps you have a list of what you’re looking for in a husband. This may be a help or a hindrance. When it comes to achieving something resembling marital bliss, being on the same page, having mutual respect and him having a good character is actually much more important than just instant physical attraction.
Now you know how to spot your future husband on the very first date, it’s time to get out there and mingle.
How do you know if a guy is interested after the first date?
He’ll call, or message. That doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t do it first. But if he doesn’t reply or avoids you, then you have your answer. If in doubt, don’t make it complicated, just ask him straight out if he wants to meet again.
How can I attract my future husband?
Become the best version of yourself. But always be yourself. If you put on an act it’ll be unsustainable. That may be ok for a fling, but it won’t last for decades. Practice self-care, invest in your interests, value yourself and keep a healthy sense of self-worth.
How can I find a suitable husband?
It can be a numbers game. So get out there and meet lots of people – that could be online, in an online speed dating night near you, at a face to face speed dating event, via friends, at work, or through social activities and hobbies.