Learn to flirt
Do you have a friend who’s great at flirting and always wished you could be too? Flirting can be tricky. Get it wrong and it can be awkward or embarrassing, having the very opposite effect to your desired outcome. But get it right and you can hit the jackpot by sending clear signals to a stranger, acquaintance or friend. It can be non-verbal or in the form of flirty chat. The choice is yours.
How do I learn to flirt?
Some people – especially those with playful personalities – are naturals at it, and not everyone flirts with intention. It might just be for fun, to attract attention, or as a bit of a game. However, it can also be the start of a longlasting relationship. If it doesn’t come naturally for you, don’t despair, you can definitely learn how to flirt and we’ll let you know exactly what to do, step by step.
How do you master the art of flirting?
It’s often called an art form and is sometimes referred to as being coquettish. But how do you master flirting and maximise your chances of landing a date or getting a match at a singles event?
Eye contact and gestures
This is a tenement of flirting and works in all sorts of scenarios.
Try this: Make direct eye contact and smile (be sure to smile with your eyes too). Look down for a few seconds, then make direct eye contact and smile again. You might want to add in a slight hair stroke or flick, or a gentle touch of your decolletage/chest too. Winking is a very clear sign of flirtation but is a difficult one to pull off and often comes over as a bit naff, over the top or even condescending.
If they reciprocate the smile and eye contact and look happy about it, you’re in luck. Now cross the room and speak to them, or if you were already in a date scenario, take it to the next stage…
Approach face on
If you are crossing a room to chat, don’t sidle up from the side or behind and give them a fright. Let them see you coming – preferably after some successful eye contact. Should the person in question be someone you know, or have already been on a date with, tapping on the shoulder can work, but again, don’t give them a shock – and don’t follow them down the street to do it.
Gentle teasing or a joke
If you have a good sense of humour, let it shine. This is one of the secrets of flirting, as it shows confidence and makes the other person feel relaxed and at ease in your company. Never make a joke at someone’s expense, or be mean. It should be playful and kind. Here are some good tips for successful teasing.
Be tactile (but not overly)
Touch is incredibly powerful but must be appropriate, or you’ll put them off completely. If you’re on a date, try gently touching their shoulder while asking if they’d like a drink. When on a date, assuming it’s going well and there’s lots of chemistry, add in a gentle brush of the knee or millisecond touch of the hand.
Always monitor their reaction when flirting. If it meets with pleasure, it’s all good. If not, back off and tone it down. Don’t do anything that makes them uncomfortable.
How do you flirt if you’re shy?
Here are some more great tips, specifically for those who are shy.
And the good news is if you find face to face flirting difficult, it can be done digitally too.
How to flirt over text
Compliments are a great way to hint at being interested in someone, particularly if it relates to their appearance or something slightly sexy (as opposed to congratulating them on a new job or admiring their choice of kitchen units). Use them as a means to open up a conversation by text, or indeed, in person.
How to flirt online
In the age of social media and online dating, knowing how to flirt with words or pictures is incredibly useful. The first rule of flirting online is: do not send unsolicited naked pictures – especially to someone you’ve never met. There’s a lot of this on dating sites, where men open up a chat with a nude pic. Instead reference something they’ve posted, or mentioned on a profile, in a playful way. This shows you’ve taken an interest in what they’re doing and saying. As with texts, personalised compliments work very well. Avoid sending the same comment to lots of people – it’s obvious and impersonal when it’s generic.
Now you know the basics of flirting, it’s time to try it out! Book onto a speed dating event near you, or head out for a night on the town with friends and see how you can change your fortunes, with these simple tips.
- Is smiling flirting?
It depends on how it’s done. Not every smile is a sign of flirtation. But if someone is smiling across a room and making eye contact, then seeking you out, there’s a good chance they’re flirting with you.
- How do I know if someone is flirting?
Some people flirt without even realising they’re doing it – which can cause a lot of confusion. If you suspect someone you like is flirting (based on the information in this article), try making a move by asking them out for a drink. Then you’ll know for definite.