Should I Consider a Long-Distance Relationship?

Love may know no boundaries, but it often faces the not-insignificant hurdle of mileage. In this global age, connecting with those in different parts of the country — or even the world — is more common than ever before. However, deciding whether to consider a long-distance relationship is a deeply personal choice that demands careful consideration.

Advantages and disadvantages of long-distance relationships

Before taking the plunge into a long-distance relationship, it's essential to weigh the pros and cons and reflect on your unique circumstances. We’d even go as far as saying you should think about what’s doable for you even before filling in your search filters on an online dating profile (one of which is how far you’re willing to look). It’s easy to get carried away once you’ve connected and fallen for one another. But you may be in for a world of heartache if you later discover that long-distance is either totally impractical or unbearable for you.

Facts about long-distance relationships

Let’s start by looking at the pros of long-distance relationships

They can foster strong emotional connections. When you're physically apart, you are forced to communicate and connect on a deeper level, as you can't rely solely on physical intimacy.
You'll learn to trust, communicate effectively and wait well, which are valuable life skills.
Being apart can make you appreciate your partner more. You'll cherish the time spent together and value your relationship even more.
There’s ample room for personal independence. You can pursue your goals, hobbies, and friendships without compromising your relationship.

And the cons…

The most apparent downside is the physical separation. The inability to be tactile can be especially difficult if your love language is touch.
Maintaining a long-distance relationship can be costly and time-consuming. Frequent travel can strain your monetary resources.
When trust issues arise, they can be difficult to resolve from afar.
Loneliness can creep in, especially during special occasions or when you need emotional support in person. Coping with this feeling can be tough.
The uncertainty of when or if you'll be together in the same location can be mentally challenging.
Being away from home so regularly can cause issues with any responsibilites you may have on home turf, such as elderly relatives who need your help, child care commitments, pets, or even a garden that needs watering.
In the long run, someone is going to have to compromise and move. This may mean giving up a job, home or proximity to loved ones.

How to make a long-distance relationship work

While there are undoubtedly challenges, long-distance relationships can thrive when both partners are really into each other, talk things through, and have a clear plan for the future. Ultimately, love can conquer distance, but it's essential to be realistic about the sacrifices required. If both partners are willing to put in the effort, a long-distance relationship can strengthen your bond and lead to a lasting, fulfilling partnership.

How to be happy in a long-distance relationship

Now’s the time to dig into some real emotional work. To be content in this scenario, you’ll need to be self-assured, secure and patient with good communication skills. Long-distance is a great excuse for self-improvement and the development of self-love. Whether your relationship works out or not, you’ll emerge as a stronger, more resilient and happier individual. Every dating challenge can pose an opportunity to better ourselves and long-distance is no different!

How to you know if a long-distance relationship is right for you

Here are some factors to consider.

Are you able to be away from home regularly on visits? If not, is the other person and are they willing to do so?

Are you both willing to commit to open and honest communication? Effective communication is the lifeline of a long-distance relationship.

Do you trust each other implicitly? Trust is vital, and any doubts should be addressed before pursuing a long-distance relationship.

Assess whether you are emotionally and mentally compatible. Differences that are manageable when you're together can become magnified when apart.

Consider your support system. Do you have friends and family who are understanding and supportive of your decision?

Can you afford the time required for travel and the associated costs?

Should I be in a long-distance relationship?

Deciding whether to consider a long-distance relationship requires careful thought and self-awareness, as it has some significant long-term consequences if it works out. Have an open discussion about your future. Are there concrete plans to eventually live in the same place? Having a clear goal can make the distance more bearable.

If staying put is important to you, whether due to family, children, career, or simply really liking where you live, keep your search radius small. Speed dating events and singles nights are perfect for keeping it local and you’ll find there are lots of potential suitors right on your doorstep.

Related Questions

Is two hours considered a long-distance relationship?
This is probably on the cusp, but as it’s more than a reasonable daily commute, two hours does constitute long distance. Views on time factors will depend on your geography — you may be close to your other half as the crow flies, but have a lengthy journey to reach them (as would apply in London, for example). It also depends on transport availability and your own limitations.

Should I do long distance in college?
Your student days can be a hedonistic and fun-filled time with lots of partying on the agenda. So ask yourself if you’ll be missing out by maintaining a relationship during this time. It really comes down to how serious you are about them, what the future looks like for you as a pair and whether it’s likely to result in regrets either way.